Best Friend First

You’re a special one

Together we break the rules

Together we rebel

Together we’re fools

Together we’ll excel

With you I’m comfortable

With you its easy

With you there’s no judgement

I’m allowed to just be

You let me be me

I want the same for you

To see you succeed

In all things that you do

Your my partner in crime

My confidante

My distraction from time

And the one that I want

We die alone

That’s the truth

But we live together

Throughout this youth

When I need someone

You’re always there

To listen, encourage

And show that you care

You keep things so simple

That’s something I love

If asked where my heart’s at

It’s you I’d think of

Whatever this is

It’s a kind of magic

You’re my best friend first

My lover second

I’ll Remember

I will never think of you as a shit person

Sure, we’ve lost something

But I’ll remember when we had a dream

When you saw what I saw

believed what I believed

Infinite possibility in the palm of our hand

When you trusted me enough to share a vision with me

Share a life with me

A simple truth

When you inspired me

When you trusted yourself to let you have fun with me

I’ll remember the totally wild and reckless abandon

Seeing laughter pour out of you like from an

Endless stream

On the back of a jet ski

Running full speed through the woods

Or dancing till the sun comes up

I’ll remember you in the music we’ve shared

I’ll remember your curiosity, your openness, your crave for adventure

I’ll remember your passion and fire

I’ll remember you crying because it’s all so beautiful

I’ll remember you wide-eyed

Yearning for more

Soaking it all in

I’ll remember your playfulness

I’ll remember you as baby

Cuddling to keep warm

Snuggling to keep safe

I’ll remember us fused

I’ll remember us as worms

I’ll remember feeding you popcorn on the kitchen floor, cross-legged and happy as a clam

I’ll remember you jumping in first with all your clothes on

I’ll remember the way you walk into the party

The way you look up when you dance

Cause you’re feelin yourself

I’ll remember the exact shape of you

Every curve crevice and the touch of your skin

The warmth of your body

I’ll remember your smell

The sound of your voice

The feeling of waking up to you

Of trusting you to be there

Your head on my shoulder and your legs tangled in mine

I’ll remember your excitement for a life that was ours

I’ll remember feeling powerful and infinite with you

That blissful youthful arrogance of feeling unstoppable

I’ll remember when you used to say yes

When you used to say hell yes

I’ll remember your wanderlust

Your lust for life

I’ll remember the way you move when you feel sexy

The look in your eyes when you want me

That devilish look that started it all

I’ll remember the way you look at yourself in the mirror

Chin pulled down, lips slightly pouted, eyes slightly squinted

Turning side to side to see yourself from all angles

I’ll remember you changing your outfit ten times before putting the first one back on

I’ll remember the look on your face when you’re inspired

In awe of the world around you

I’ll remember when you let me in

Sharing your mind and soul

Letting me see the true beauty inside

Uncensored, unscripted, raw and unfiltered

I’ll remember these things

Because this is why I love you

And this is how I will always

Always choose to remember you

Open Water

In open water

Drifting over deep blue

Watching the rolling waves

In their seemingly unstructured chaos

Yet making all the sense in the world

A perfect harmony of relativity

Still following a set of rules

Natural laws

No effect without a cause

And me

Seemingly insignificant in the vastness

Wondering what I’m an effect of

And what cause I’m a part of

Fumbling through life

Lost yet driven

Directionless yet passionate

Fueled by a purpose to unite

To spread joy

To share inspiration

To overcome differences

Better yet, to celebrate them. Value  them

Because there is no difference to which there is no bridge

Try though some might to detach and isolate

To feel exclusive or superior

We are the same

Always more connected than separated

Fighting for a false sense of self

Yet only mere reflections

We are the universal consciousness

Experiencing itself

The one

The force

Seeing itself through different eyes

Receiving itself through numerous antennas

And yet all at once

All right now

And so perhaps I’m no cause or effect of my own physical being

I am all of it

I am the light and the darkness

The good and the evil

I take responsibility for the crimes against life

And the godly creation of all

I am not separate

Not even an intricate piece of something larger

I’m only fooled by the shackles of this body

For my waves radiate far beyond

Effecting and causing itself over and over

More expansive than these endless blue waves

For I am not only I

Lest I am all of it

Even you

Reading this

Whether you know it yet or not

You are me

Experiencing you

And one day we shall fuse again

And be one.

No longer fooled by matter

Instead living through energy without bounds

And then we will finally no longer wander open seas

Directionless or lost

For then we will be home

See you soon babe

Till then, keep choosing light

Everlasting Moment

I long for that timeless hypnosis of you

Your intoxicating energy vibrating my soul

The moment when our naked bodies touch

Sending shockwaves to my core

Your smell is provocative

It hits me like a drug

Emotionally stoned. Physically aroused.

Spiritually awakened.

Your aura is powerful

It heightens my senses

I want to kiss you always

Lick you everywhere

Slow things down as my heart speeds up

In a never ending loop of time and space

That is all you

Me in you

And you in me

And no difference in between

I want to lose sight of myself

And resonate with something larger

Something more wholesome

Blind to logic and reason

Yet making more sense than both

Those ecstatic sensational titillations

That stimulate our nerves

And shake us awake from monotony

I want to get dizzy sweaty stupid

In a lust filled madness

Yet paced and long and dragged out

Til we’re gasping for breath

Reborn through that trembling explosion

Connected from everything leading up to it

And revitalized by the sweet moments after

When our minds reset

And our bodies fight for baseline

Defibrillated by one another

All too human and primal and real

I want to hear your heartbeat

As I feel my blood pulse my veins

Conjoin all our breaths

Inhale your exhale

Having died our two deaths

Four rhythms in harmony

Two bodies well spent

One everlasting moment

That came where we went

Highline

Sometimes I wonder who I am. I get lost in questions trying to define my identity. Am I my name? Am I this body? Am I a collection of memories and thoughts? Am I energy? Its trivial to try to comprehend what we are in terms of what we will become once we die. Once our bodies decompose and our names are forgotten. But right now, I sit here watching a beautiful sunset and feeling the light breeze on my skin. I hear the voices of strangers all around me and the hustle and bustle of the city down below. I inhale fresh air and enjoy the explosion of flavor from the strawberry gum I just popped in my mouth. In front of me are some trees. I watch the same light breeze making their leaves dance and I wonder how nice it would be to be a tree. To live and die and never once have to question itself. A tree just is; it simply exists. But then I wonder, does a tree know how beautiful the world is? Does it know how beautiful itself is? The ability to think and be conscious is a curious thing. This mind of mine so full of questions which can at times be tormenting also recognizes the ocean of beauty all around me. And in this moment when I realize that I too am beautiful and an intricate part of this universal majesty, I know that nothing else matters. Who or what I am is relative and means very little. Whats important is that I am. I am here. I am now. So I decide to stop all of these thoughts and simply keep enjoying my sunset. But first and lastly, I think to myself… what a wonderful world!

Before Her

I remember what it was like before her
I was different
Bold, free, confident, fun loving
And then she came along
I fell harder and faster than I thought was possible
The fall was thrilling
The impact hard and sudden
How do you take a man and shatter him?
Give him a good love then take it away
She is who she is
And that’s the best and worst thing about her
I could spend a lifetime pondering
Wondering what could have been done differently
Or I could spend the next ten years worrying about the next ten years
But it simply doesn’t do to look forwards or backwards
I’m here
I’m alive
I want to feel that again
I want to feel the excitement I felt with her
Or at least, the contentment I felt before her
Now I wonder what’s wrong with me
Am I too emotional?
Too impulsive?
Will I ever get it right?
Is there even a right way?
Or maybe just the right person
Clearly she wasn’t the one
Perhaps there is no such thing as “the one”
But one thing is for sure
The only one I want to love right now is me
I’m the most in need of my own love
And I let her convince me that my love wasn’t enough
That I didn’t know how to love
But I do know how to love
The hardest learned lesson is that people only have their kind of love to give
Not your kind
And I’m slowly finding my confidence again
Learning to trust myself
Learning not to react to others judgments
I used to not care what anyone thought
Then she came along and I loved her
And hers were the only opinions that mattered
When they changed with the wind I was lost
Now I’m slowly finding my way back home
Back to myself
I was there once
I’ll be there again
I’ll be me. Free. Alive. Ready to enjoy life
I’ve always loved a good welcome home party

No Sweeter Pleasure

There is no sweeter pleasure
Than the sweet simple treasure
Of your face in the morning
Painted orange with light
Through the blinds the sun’s rays
Directing my gaze
To your soft skin and deep breaths
A breathtaking sight
You lost in your dreams
Oh where could you be
An eye twitch a lip glitch
You’re somewhere more free
Leaving body behind
Your mind wandering
I sit here in awe
Sitting here pondering
If I joined you in sleep
Could I meet you somehow
In the world of our minds
Darling where are you now
If I touch would you feel
Would you know that it’s me
Would you smile in your dream
Even though you can’t see
Do you know that I’m here
watching you in your travels
Keeping you safe from outside
as your adventure unravels
I love to just watch you
Just watching you breathe
Tracing your face with my eyes
I surely believe
There is no sweeter sweetness
Or pure satisfaction
Than you in your slumber
Your stillness in action
I want you I crave you
I need you for me
But I know that real loving
Is to just let you be
So sleep on my dear
Dream wildly for me
And return with some stories
From the land I can’t see

Gratitude

I want to give you something
A gift
A flower
A kiss
My hand to hold
A memory
A laugh
A dream
A fantasy
A moment
Some time
A thought
My heart
My soul
An apology
Your freedom
A choice
I want to share with you this
Everything
All of it
I love you
It’s so simple

Cheers

Cheers to old friends and new trends
To childhood nostalgias
Where the sidewalk ends
Cheers to changing tides and switching rides
To rollercoaster lifestyles that shake your insides
Cheers to the first one and cheers to the last
Cheers to our present, future, and past
Cheers to our youth and it slipping away
Cheers to the lessons we’ve learned to this day
Cheers to prosperity
Cheers to despair
Cheers to humanity whenever it’s there
Cheers to long stares or short awkward glances
Cheers to discomfort with no second chances
Cheers to the unknown, the source of our fear
Cheers to this moment, this lifetime, this year
Cheers to the next round
The one that we need
To forget all the bullshit
In this quest to succeed
Cheers to goodbyes
Cheers to hard cries
Cheers to pep talks and long walks and white lies
Cheers to trying new things
Onwards and forwards
Cheers to the silence
While in struggle for more words
Cheers cheers cheers
Now surely we’re drunk
And high off of life
Won’t remember what we thunk
But we’ll wake up tomorrow
Heads pounding hearts throbbing
And still raise our glasses
Half laughing half sobbing
Cheers to you
My friend who reads this
To a life filled with happiness, wisdom, and bliss
May you cheers, may you cheers
May you cheer when you cheers
And when your glass runs empty
I’ll be here with two beers

Grow

Lately I’ve begun to appreciate the unpredictability of life. The fact that I don’t know; that I cannot predict or plan for a future which has yet to come.

I can however, be prepared for it. I can be prepared for it by being open to all the possibilities. By being prepared to gracefully let go of things not meant for me.

By being aware of all the opportunities that surround me and to try new things passionately and fearlessly with an open mind.

The unknown tends to be the most terrifying thing for those who like to be in control.

It takes a certain humility to accept that everything can change with a simple twist of fate.

If you’re willing to change your perspective though, it makes it easier when your world is turned upside down.

We must be able to flow through this life with flexibility.

To swim with the currents and let ourselves thrive wherever life decides to take us.

We are who we are, and we will grow where we are planted.

Just trust that life will plant us exactly where we need to be.